You’re an immigrant. You speak another language. How do you make friends?
I interviewed a lot of Venezuelans living in New York. They had a lot of problems: social security, a real expensive health system, not being able to see their families for years… I heard a lot of different experiences, from the immigrant who got there with a green card and did an M.A. at Columbia to the mother of two who arrived for a “vacation” four years ago.
Between all the stories one thing stood out to me: they feel lonely.
When an immigrant arrives in a new country, they face a completely different life in a strange new environment. They never wanted to leave their families behind, they have a background not everyone can comprehend, they miss their people, they don’t really want to be there, they just can’t be at their home. And feeling like that isn’t good. Is a threat to mental health, actually.
And this isn’t something to be taken lightly: a report by the American Psychological Association for the Presidential Task Force on Immigration in 2013 says that “the stress involved in the immigration process can cause or exacerbate mental health challenges including anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), substance abuse, suicidal ideation, and severe mental illness”.
And this can extend to other parts of their life. When you aren’t in a good state of mind the most mundane tasks seem like running for the Olympics team. How are you supposed to get a job, or learn about a new culture when you can barely leave your bed?
After hearing their testimonies, I was the one needing help. A lot of my time with my therapist that week went into the psychological effects of this. And I would love to say that now I have an answer… but I don’t.
I guess I could say something like “this is easy, let's do a gathering on some park!”, but yeah, 2020. I guess I could say “sign up for a course, I’m sure you’ll meet people!, but I talked with people who studied something for years and made connections they cherished. None of those connections went to their birthday party. And the friends you make at a job? Most of them will forget about you as soon as you get out of that door.
My plan for next semester is to build an online community, but that takes time and resources. And we don’t know if that would be successful, even if connections are made. You can never replace the feeling of having your mom near you.
So, what can we do? My best thought is something like: I can’t kill the root, but I can sure attack the branches. How? Explaining about mental health.
In the Latino community is not common to seek mental health help. It stills has some taboo around it, like “it’s just for crazy people”. So I think that, by making this information accessible, things can change for at least one person.
I’m thinking of infographics and little videos shared on social media and apps like WhatsApp. And the best promoter: word of mouth. Ideally, I’d have my own platform.
I also think that something that would be very useful is listing the organizations that provide help for immigrants and share it in English and Spanish.
Many said that just this experience, talking to me about their situation, helped them. They manage to connect with feelings they don’t usually share. As soon as covid allows, this has to be an in person conversation.
